Three Little Brothers
Wilmer, was almost five. Lynn (my dad) was seven, and Cloyde was nine.
Wilmer was a little rascal, a menace, and very witty. He was a real character and a cute little bugger. Everyone liked him and got a kick out of him. Even his big brothers looked up to him.
Lynn had a head-full of hair. It was bright red. The kids at school called him "carrot top." That did not help Lynn's confidence.
Cloyde, was your basic nerd.
"I'm bored. Let's climb the big tree!" Wilmer said.
The tree was a huge willow tree. It had a humungous branch that was sideways to the ground. The boys used it for their bench.
The boys got on the branch, and started talking away.
"I can't wait until I can go to school and play kiss-tag with the girls." Wilmer said.
Lynn and Cloyde were not interested in, or were frightened of, girls. The girls found them boring.
But the girls were crazy about Wilmer!
Wilmer would tell stories and brag to his brothers about how the girls flirted with him and chased him. They all wanted to kiss him.
In reality, these were only pretend girls. He wasn't old enough to go to public school.
But there were several little girls in the church's Primary program. They were drop-dead gorgeous now, but Wilmer was sure that they would grow up to look like their mothers.
Wilmer' brothers loved his stories.
All of the sudden Cloyde said:
"I gotta take a _______."
"Me too." Lynn said.
"Me three!!" Wilmer predictably piped in. He always had to copy or out-do his brothers.
"Hey!" Wilmer exclaimed. "Why don't we have some fun?!"
"Let's take our clothes off, hang our bums over the branch, and take a dump!" He yelled.
"Whoever's pile is stacked the highest, wins!"
"NOW THAT'S GOING TOO FAR, WILMER!" Declared Cloyde.
"Oh, give him a break, Cloyde." Said Lynn. "Sounds kinda fun. I'm in!!"
"Well then." Cloyde said. "I'll guess I'll play too."
Each of the boys stripped naked.
Cloyde and Lynn went ahead and poked their bottoms out.
"I'm going to win because my butt is hanging out more than either of yours!" Wilmer bragged.
They held onto the branch by their hands, knees, and thighs.
THEN THEY PROCEEDED TO DROP THEIR LOADS.
"Hang on, Wilmer!" They screamed.
But it was too late.
Wilmer fell off the branch and right into his pile of (YOU KNOW WHAT)!!
Wilmer kept trying to get up but he kept slipping and falling down again. Each fall made him even messier.
Lynn and Cloyde were howling with laughter. Wilmer was bawling. This was anything but funny. He hurt all over and was humiliated.
He began to run to the house, crying: "Mommy, Mommy!!"
But his brothers were not about to let him get poop in the house.
They threw him into the canal and said:
"YOU CAN'T GET OUT UNTIL YOU WASH YOURSELF TOTALLY CLEAN!!!"
The older brothers about busted a gut with laughter, while Wilmer whined and bawled.