I HATE THAT KID

"I  HATE  THAT  KID!!!"

Such were my thoughts as Miss Taylor introduced Edward Capper to the class. I didn't really have any reason to despise the boy. It was just my instinct, I supposed.

"Let's call him "The Crapper!" I said to my gang at recess.

"The Crapper?" Norman asked. "I thought the teacher said his name was Eddie Capper."

"Norman, you're such an idiot!" I yelled, spitting a little.  "Capper-----Crapper.  Get it?"

"Besides, he smells like crap!!" Brad said. He really looked like he had to go.

My gang consisted of 5 elementary-school guys. I was the leader. My buddies practically worshipped me because I had so many fun, risky ideas. I was always several steps ahead of them.

I told the fellas that I had first dibs on beating The Crapper up.

After school, The Crapper started walking home. I started following him, stealthily. But, he must have seen me, because he began running. He knew that he was in danger.

I gave chase!!

Soon, I reached The Crapper's house.

He panicked! He came after me with a HUGE, thick board!

"Come any closer and I'll knock your head off!!" He meant it too!

He was swinging the big board as he ran at me. He looked like a demon from hell!!

I quickly reached down and picked up a jagged rock, the size of a softball. I threw it at The Crapper with all my might. I threw it just in time, because the board would have killed me..

The rock stopped him in his tracks! It hit him very hard in the sternum. He fell backwards and landed on the ground.

"Help me!" He yelled, and then he was out like a light.

Eddie's mom called 911 and rushed to Eddie. She shook her fist at me, and cursed me royally.

"Run for it!" I yelled to myself.

The next morning at school, a voice sounded over the intercom.

"George Anderton," Mr. Giles' said. "Report to the principal's office."

"George Anderton, report to the principal's office."

I hated those words. I'd heard them so often. Especially the "George Anderton" part.

I 'd always disliked Mr. Giles, but I really didn't know why. Probably because he was ugly.

When I went into his office, he slammed me to my seat and yelled sternly:

"George, you nearly broke Edward's sternum." The principal said. "You could have killed him!"

"But, but, but." I said.

"It was self defense. He nearly killed me with a big board. Plus, I wasn't on school property!!"

"That's no excuse!" Mr. Giles thundered.

"Pull down your pants and grasp your ankles!" He commanded.

"What the?" I thought.

I pulled down my pants, but not my briefs.

"Strip naked!"  He screeched.

Then, swat, swat, swat, 10 times! He finally quit after he broke his "Board of Education." I had blisters and red marks on my butt for two weeks.


"THIS ISN'T OVER, CRAPPER!!!" I bawled to myself.